• In a race, every little bit helps •
[2½ MIN READ]
Ever since I read about Dean Karnazes mastering this technique, I’ve wondered about its utility while marathon racing (Wikipedia). Karnazes taught himself as an ultramarathoner, but the practicality for shorter distances will be obvious to anyone who’s had to step out of a race and lose precious running time. I’m talking about a behavior that everyone else only does while stationary: peeing in competition. Let me be clear, this is not pulling off to the side of the course to pee while racing, but literally, emptying your bladder while physically running.
Karnazes goes in a direction that requires extra chutzpah because he does it without getting urine on himself. His practice requires exposing himself, turning slightly (I assume), and letting fly. There are actually laws against doing things like that in the public spaces of the typical marathon setting.
Btw, yes, Karnazes is a guy. Runner Ryan Sandes actually (um) caught him (uh) exercising this sneaky pee technique. More about Sandes and guyness in a moment (You @ News24).
Follow me, here. People regularly void themselves in public without breaking laws on public urination. Who?! you ask.
The incontinent. The rest of us innocents never notice it because of the use of incontinence garments — adult diapers. The issue for the ambitious marathon runner is figuring out how to put everything together to make use of the appropriate IG in competition.
Enter someone dear and near to me: my father-in-law. “Near to me” means him being comfortable enough to admit the need to use one. “Dear to me” means me being comfortable enough to ask for one to experiment with. When it came time, wife (his daughter) insisted I explain why I wanted one. Though FIL didn’t need to know any reason, I explained, anyway. I did say “near and dear,” didn’t I?
The next step was to practice relaxing enough while moving to actually pee. Let me insist, unabashedly, it can be done.
Like any good marathon discipline, it does take practice, but the benefits are unequivocal: no lost time using a portable toilet (and not just using, but queuing to use), no urine on your leg or in your shoes, no smell (IG’s are deodorized), and no arrest for indecency or public urination. Here’s another benefit, if you cut the absorbent pad out and position it in your runningwear (no adhesive strip necessary), you can just reach in surreptitiously, remove it, and toss it out in a course-provided receptical (please).
Runner Sandes insists that only guys can sneaky pee. That’s inarguable, the way Karnazes and Sandes do it, but my method is definitively unisex. Returning to the incontinent as evidence, guys are not the only ones.
“Thanks, FIL,” for the training assist. “You’re welcome,” every race competitor who benefits from my experimentation. “Hey, Next Marathon,” here I come.
–CtCloser (Calvinthe) “Negative Split or Positive Splat” #dothedue
FINE PRINT ¶Text by Calvin Wang (Wäng), CC BY-NC-SA 4.0. ¶Cross-published: Facebook Shawmont Running Club (ZY Weekly Newsletter 12/6/25), Shawmont Running Club website, Ruminations by CtCloser. ¶This website posting: Rumination with added caption and enumeration.
iCandybyWangC 