By definition, any two parties are poles apart. For the two parties to function effectively, they have to meet at some common point between them.
Common definitions of the phrase “poles apart” assumes extreme separation: think north pole vs. south pole. An entire 2022 book (Penguin UK) with that title is built upon the presupposition of division and hostility.
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The model as I’ve conceived it accommodates smaller separations in the same way that the poles of a small sphere (ball bearing) are orders of magnitude closer than the poles of the earth. Division and hostility are not defaults: Difference is.
“Effective functioning” assumes both parties in a relationship are willing to move. One party cannot move 100% and completely sacrifice self-identity.
One party can also comprise multiple individuals: consider a workplace relative to one employee.
If you’re skeptical of the premise of this model, consider the fact that even an individual can embrace divergence as 2 parties in 1. How else can indecision be real?
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Relational Divergence @ iCandybyWangC.com