• I needed more friends •
[1½ MIN READ]
During a conversation with my 3 brothers, one asked a sincere question about what friendships looked like in our lives these days. He and the other 2 admitted they probably had no more than they could count on one hand. Not so many years ago, I would have said the same.
A question about what distinguishes friends and acquaintances elicited this ChatGPT definition: “Friendship is a deep and enduring relationship between people characterized by mutual affection, trust, respect, and support… Friendship often involves shared experiences, common values, and a genuine concern for each other’s well-being. It is a connection where both individuals feel comfortable being themselves, knowing they are accepted and valued.”
Here was my response, which could have sounded merely self-comforting if it wasn’t completely true: I have friends! Between SRC on Saturdays and JRC GGR on Wednesdays, there are many rudder bunnies with whom I’ve become very close. They’re much closer to “significant” or even “intimate” friends than “casual” or “nodding” acquaintances.
Each friendship started with the process of Communitizing which turns a stranger into an acquaintance. The next step comes with consistency. In an affinity group like one built around running, the “shared experiences,” “trust, respect, and support,” and “common values” are built in. The “enduring” and “mutual affection” develop simply by continuing to show up.
The highest level of social intimacy—“deep” and “genuine concern”—takes place with another level of intentionality. It features transparency. I do my share by opening up and talking about myself; but, more significantly, also by learning about the rudder bunny I’m with. That intentionality includes caring about the friendship, then acting on that caring by following up.
Et voilà! Friends. I might be oversimplifying, but it’s been working for me in 2 running clubs. So, Brothers: You need to join an affinity group (doesn’t have to be running!). And then go more intentional. I’ll expect a report at our next conversation.
-CtCloser (Calvinthe) “Negative Split or Positive Splat” #dothedue
FINE PRINT ¶Text by Calvin Wang (Wäng), CC BY-NC-SA 4.0. ¶Cross-published: Facebook Shawmont Running Club (ZY Weekly Newsletter 8/24/24), Shawmont Running Club website, Ruminations by CtCloser. ¶This website posting: Rumination with added caption.
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