iCandybyWangC

• A couple of thoughts from experience •

[1½ MIN READ]

I’ve learned a few things about negotiating grief. Two came to mind recently when I was with friends going through the process. Having gone through a few deaths of people I love, including someone very recently, I was able to sit in sympathy with 3 young native Alaskan friends who lost good buddies, also very recently.

Knowing how difficult it can be for other friends to understand how to talk with the grieving, I stepped out conversationally and asked one how she was managing. She was appreciative that I did because no one else had. The week we were together provided a few opportunities to cry over the absence of that buddy.

I asked another gal how she was doing after her buddy died who talked about how much she missed her. When I asked her to share a memory, she showed me a favorite high-school picture and we remembered together.

A 3rd teenager confided in me that he was having a difficult time after the death of his childhood and lifelong friend. I made it clear how much it was to be expected for someone close and that it was possible to get help processing his absence.

An authoritative and easy-to-read perspective that’s not just for the aged: Coping with Grief and Loss (National Institute on Aging)

In each case, it was important to validate the feelings of grief. Then I created the chance to remember the friends they were grieving.

How not to grieve: 5 Things Not to Do (Dr. Jeff Caster)

There are unproductive ways of dealing with grief (any kind, not just for those who have passed on) that might seem easy to pursue. Substance abuse (like drinking excessively) is one that does a disservice to the memory of those we’ve loved.

A memory of someone I lost: Leg Pain (1½ MIN READ on iCandybyWangC)

People we love never disappear from our lives. We do well to remember them well.

FINE PRINT ¶Text: Calvin Wang (Wäng), CC BY-NC-SA 4.0. ¶Cross-posted: (1) Facebook 2025’07’31’R and (2) Life @ iCandybyWangC

Life
Native Alaska